Booby Traps
by jackandsamforever
Summary: Laris and Zhaban are trying to add unwanted (by the Admiral) security measures to Château Picard, and keep finding themselves interrupted.


"Laris, I really don't thi-"

"Shhh, someone will hear you. Just stop talking and follow me."

Zhaban sighed quietly and hefted his bag higher up on his shoulder. This was a bad idea. Bad. Bad.

He was currently following his wife, who was merely a shadowy figure in the moonlight, to the edge of the property to set some extra "security measures".

Humans called them booby traps, and Picard had explicitly stated that he didn't want them doing this.

Why did he have to fall in love with a rule breaker?

No one else had ever been important enough to him to break rules. Now he was no longer Tal Shiar, and he married a Tal Shiar agent illegally, and currently they were going against the Admiral's wishes.

The things he would do for this woman was an embarrassingly long list.

His brooding was interrupted by Laris' hand on his chest. "Here. This is perfect. There's not a chance a worker will come out this far, and an intruder will never see it coming."

He nodded without a word and watched her stake out where exactly to place the trip wire. As she disappeared in the darkness, he set his bag down and opened it up to start taking out their supplies.

Wire. Check.

Explosive material. Check.

Nagging guilt in the back of his mind. Check.

He tracked her quiet footsteps back towards him and looked up as she approached.

She rubbed her gloved hands together almost gleefully. This had always been her wheelhouse. She was smart, and had easily been one of the best agents that the Tal Shiar had; it was giving him a tiny bit of nostalgia seeing her in her element again.

He handed her the wire and watched her walk away for the second time. She had always been better at setting these, and he'd rather it be done correctly the first time.

He would stay back and keep watch while she worked.

A few minutes of silence passed…the only noises were that of the vineyard and the faint sounds of his wife securing the first side of the trip wire to the tree.

When suddenly he heard a bark very close by.

Number One was out.

And that usually meant Picard was out too.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He quickly grabbed the remaining supplies and stuffed them back in his bag, then hurriedly (and very quietly) made his way over to Laris.

He skidded to a stop near his wife, nearly out of breath (he really needed to start working out more).

She looked up at him from her kneeling position on the ground and cocked an eyebrow. "What are you doing?", she whispered.

He tried to control his breathing, but knew he was being much too loud.

"Dog."

"Picard."

"Shit", she murmured and quickly took the proffered bag from him to stuff everything back inside.

As soon as she finished, she hid it in a shallow hole at the base of the tree, then grabbed Zhaban's hand and pulled him down next to her. She leaned back against the tree and tugged on his arm to get him to follow.

Finally catching his breath, and on to what she was trying to get him to do, he scooted back against the tree himself and flung an arm around her shoulders just as Number One and the Admiral broke through a grove of trees; still a good 50 feet from where they sat.

They hadn't been spotted yet.

Laris grabbed his face and began to kiss him, roughly at first, but then softly as he began to respond. He loved kissing her, and didn't get to do it nearly as often as he liked..so he was going to enjoy it while he could.

She broke away from his lips and started to pepper his face with little kisses, whispering against his ear, "Act surprised."

Zhaban moved his arm from around her shoulders and unceremoniously pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. She let out a very un-Laris like squeak, but without missing a beat, started kissing him again…making a point to grind her hips seductively into his groin in the process. A little payback, he was sure.

He was doing his best to concentrate on the duo behind them, but was having a very hard time. Quite literally.

Suddenly Number One started to bark excitedly, and in five seconds flat, was jumping all over them, trying to lick their faces and anywhere else he could reach.

"Laris? Zhaban? What are you two doing out here in the middle of the night?"

Picard stood about ten feet away, looking at them suspiciously; thankfully it was dark enough that he couldn't see their bag hidden at the base of the tree.

Or how aroused he was.

Zhaban pushed the dog away and helped his wife stand, then pulled himself up and brushed his clothes off, adjusting himself while he listened for Laris' explanation.

He was going to let her handle this one. She had always been a better liar than him.

Laris smiled, "We could say the same for you, Admiral. Fancy a midnight stroll?"

It was decidedly later than midnight, but no one corrected her.

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "When I have nightmares and can't fall back asleep, I take Number One out and just walk the property. Better than tossing and turning in bed."

Zhaban nodded to show agreement and nudged Laris in the ass with his thigh to get her to answer. She scowled at their boss, "Do you know how dangerous that is? You could be killed! Or kidnapped! Or worse!"

Zhaban could see Picard roll his eyes in the moonlight. "I could say the same about you two. Again I ask, why are you out here?"

He knew he was going to have to say something, so he stepped forward and wrapped an arm around his wife's waist; squeezing her side lightly to let her know that was going to talk.

She stayed silent.

"Well you see, Sir, sometimes we like to get out of the house for some alone time. That's all it is."

Laris stepped on his foot to let him know what an idiot he was, but he just ran his fingers up and down her side in response. He knew what he was doing.

Probably.

He could tell Picard was a little embarrassed to have walked into that, and Zhaban scored one for himself for the convincing lie (a little guiltily, though).

He pulled his wife forward with him and smiled, "We were just about to head back anyway, care if we walk with you?"

Picard looked behind them, as if searching for something or trying to figure out if they were telling the truth. Ultimately, he decided to let it be and whistled for the dog as they headed back towards the estate. Laris and Zhaban now walking on either side of Picard.

Breaking the uncomfortable silence, Zhaban spoke first, "So Sir, what was your bad dream about this time?"

Once the Admiral began explaining his dream in great detail, Laris caught Zhaban's eye and rolled her eyes at him. He shrugged and gave her a slight smile.

They may not have succeeded in setting their booby trap, and probably wouldn't at that location since their boss seemingly roamed there often, but at least Zhaban got to make out with his wife.

Score another point for him.

They would come back for their bag tomorrow and seek out another place for their "added security" another time.

She reached around the still talking Admiral and lightly punched his arm. He caught her fist before she could retreat and gave it a little squeeze before letting go. She crinkled her eyes at him affectionately.

He loved his little family, including the crotchety Admiral and his dog, and wouldn't trade this life for anything.


End file.
